Oh No, Not More Cheese

...OK, that's it, no more Superstore. I can't handle it...

Did you know that a computer keyboard has a shift button on both sides? Well, of course you did. I didn't though, at least not until yesterday. As I told you previously, Baby Fangs destroyed the one button, which we sort of fixed, but then it fell apart completely and became completely unusable. Life as we knew it stopped for a minute or two, and then, miraculously, we discovered that there was another one on the other side! Surely Columbus could not have been as excited as we were by our discovery. If you had seen us, you would have thought we were drunk. Wait a minute, we WERE drunk.

Actually, it's just as well that she did rip off that button. For some time now I've been thinking that the laptop did not fit into the theme of our place, that being faded, toy-strewn disarray. Before sporting its current gap-toothed look, snooty laptop seemed out of place around here, too modern, too smugly aloof, too damn sharp looking. We tried to keep it in its place and not let its ego get out of hand by keeping it located on a white plastic footstool surrounded by chaos and disorder, but, like a queen, it seemed to transcend its surroundings. So Baby Fangs disfigured her properly, and now she seems much more at home. Take this as a warning: Should you ever come over here and I find you're a little too elegant looking, I will promptly place old Fangsie in your lap so that she can perform a similar operation on you. Heh heh heh.

No, of course I won't.

Superstore continues with its sadistic cheese giveaway. Today, it was wheels of Brie, $1.80 each. I was standing there to the side, wistfully staring at them and trying to sum up my will power to not buy any when I noticed the Deli Lady scooping them up to remove them. Spurred into frantic action, I lurched towards her before she could take them all away, sweat dripping down my pumpkin coloured face. As it turned out, all she was doing was reducing the price even further. She noticed my trembling hands shaking with conflicted joy and, with an evil glimmer in her eye, did the cruelest, meanest, most heartless thing anyone has ever done to me. She said, "Hey, did you know this cheese freezes really well?..."

Eight wheels of Brie later (in my grocery cart, not, um, digesting uncomfortably in my stomach) we walked past the candy aisle, and High Intensity gave the de rigueur whine for a treat. I gave her a brief lecture on healthy food, whisked her by, and bought her a package of dry Ryvita whole grain crackers. She wasn't very grateful. But I must say, they went VERY nicely with the cheese.

Mmmmmm, very nicely.