Mmmmm.... Melted Barbie Sandwich....

...and the gentle reader will bear with our blogger as she continues her discussion of Barbie, as began in yesterday's blog...

Pandora Music Selection of the Day: Actually, I'm listening to the news as I write this. And I ask at this time that we all get down on our knees and pray that Michael Ignatieff doesn't win the Liberal Leadership this weekend. Pompous prick!

I didn't mention this yesterday, but Little Miss H.I. was listening to that radio report on Barbies the other day too, and when it was over, announced that the next time she had a play date she was going to microwave hers.

"Why are you going to do this?" I asked. "Is it to express your resentment over the fact that Barbie possesses an unrealistic body, unattainable for the vast majority of women? Is it because she symbolizes the bondage women have felt with regards to their looks and figures since the dawn of time? Are you expressing your rage at your biological destiny and the fact that one day you too must say good-bye to the nice tidy body of childhood and sprout breasts and hips and things? What exactly is behind this mad desire to microwave your Barbie anyway?"

No, no, no, I didn't say any of those things. But I DID ask, rather casually, "um, throw your Barbie into the microwave? Why?" And was shot a look of complete and total condescension.

"To melt it, mom," she explained patiently. Duh.


In other news, we have another mouse. Ugh. I saw it yesterday under our (now useless) television set. Highly grossed-out, I zipped over to RONA for mousetraps, armed with some sage advice from my mother: "Get the American traps," she told me, "they really know how to execute things down there!" Unfortunately, the only ones they had were made in China. Of course, the Chinese are no slouches in the killing department either, heck, they're harvesting prisoners for their organs over there. Hmmmm. I hope none of the mice we kill are Falong Gong worshippers, religious intolerance is, like, so wrong. Anyway. I purchased 24 of these Chinese mousetraps and distributed them around all the dark corners of my house just like a bloody Easter egg hunt. Only it wasn't chocolate with creamy peanut butter insides I was hiding, it was traps with creamy peanut butter insides I was hiding. And I wanted to kill rodents, not bring pleasure to a young child's mouth. And there was a heavy snowstorm swirling about outside, no budding spring flowers and twittery birds in the trees. And ---- Whoa, where the HELL am I going with this?

By the way, speaking of young childrens' mouths, I've found that keeping 'em well stuffed with a delicious assortment of various food items can help keep walks quieter and a helluva lot more enjoyable. I highly recommend it. Toffee is especially good, 'cause it glues the teeth together, don'cha know. ;)

Okay, this post is ridiculous. I've got to go.